Stage 4 - Managing – Taking Purposeful and Structured Action

Managing isn’t just about keeping everything under control—it’s about taking purposeful and structured action. It’s about creating alignment between your mind, body, and actions so you can move through life with greater clarity and intention.

Have you ever noticed how some days you feel energised, motivated, and ready to tackle anything, while on other days, even simple tasks feel overwhelming? There’s a science behind why your energy, motivation, and emotional states fluctuate so dramatically. Understanding how to manage these fluctuations is key to navigating life with more control and confidence.

In this Managing phase of the Process of Change, you’ll learn to take what you’ve uncovered in the Understanding phase—your parts of self, the psychological processes that hold you back—and apply it in practical ways to manage your daily life. We’ll dive into three essential tools that will help you create this alignment: the Tower Block, the Gears of Motivation, and the Pillars of Health.

The Tower Block: Understanding Your Levels of Functioning

Think of your mental and emotional state as a Tower Block. At the top, in the Penthouse, you feel at your best—clear, focused, energised, and in control. Life feels easy, and challenges are manageable. But at the bottom, in the Basement, things are quite different. This is where you feel overwhelmed, stuck, and emotionally drained. In the middle, there are various levels where you might feel OK, but not great—perhaps you’re functioning, but without your full energy or capacity.

The Tower Block is a tool I use to help you visualise where you are mentally and emotionally on any given day. It’s normal to move up and down the block, but the goal is to understand how to manage yourself at different levels and learn how to move back up when you find yourself in the lower levels.

In this phase, you’ll learn to recognise your Tower Block level and what it means for your ability to manage tasks, emotions, and relationships. We’ll explore specific tools for each level—whether you’re feeling on top of the world or struggling to make it through the day.

Gears of Motivation: Shifting into the Right Gear for the Right Task

Motivation isn’t one-size-fits-all. It has different “gears” depending on the challenge you’re facing. You wouldn’t use the same gear to coast down a hill as you would to climb a steep one, and the same applies to life’s tasks.

The Gears of Motivation represent the different motivational drivers you need to engage depending on where you are in your Tower Block and the nature of the task at hand. There are three key gears:

1. Physical/Physiological Gear: When you’re in the lower levels of your Tower Block, your motivation is often driven by basic needs—just getting through the day, managing fatigue, or simply doing the bare minimum to function. This is your survival gear, and it’s OK to be here sometimes. The goal is to recognise when you’re in this gear and use it strategically to build yourself back up.

2. Comfort/Relief Gear: In the middle levels of your Tower Block, your motivation shifts toward seeking comfort or relief—completing tasks to ease stress, reduce discomfort, or regain some sense of control. Here, you’re looking for ways to manage stress without pushing yourself too hard.

3. Long-Term Goal Gear: At the higher levels of your Tower Block, you have the energy and clarity to think long-term. This is where you can tackle bigger challenges, set meaningful goals, and push yourself toward self-improvement. In this gear, you’re focused on growth, purpose, and moving towards your future self.

Understanding which gear you’re in helps you manage your day-to-day activities without burning out or feeling frustrated. It’s about working with your motivation, not against it.

Pillars of Health: Balancing the Four Pillars for Holistic Well-Being

In the Managing phase, we also focus on the Pillars of Health, which represent the four key areas that need to be balanced to support your overall well-being. These pillars are Psychology, Physiology, Physical Health, and Environment & Relationships.

1. Psychology: This pillar relates to your mental and emotional well-being—how you think, process emotions, and handle stress. In the Managing phase, we’ll dive deeper into psychological tools that help you manage your thoughts, reduce stress, and align your parts of self.

2. Physiology: This pillar focuses on your internal systems—nervous system, hormones, and how your body responds to stress. Techniques like breathwork, sleep management, and relaxation exercises will help you regulate your physiology, keeping you balanced and able to manage life’s challenges.

3. Physical Health: This pillar is about your physical body—exercise, nutrition, and how you care for your physical health. When you’re not physically well, it’s much harder to manage everything else. In this phase, we’ll explore how to take simple steps to improve your physical health, which in turn supports your mental and emotional well-being.

4. Environment & Relationships: Your surroundings—both physical and social—play a huge role in how you manage your life. Your relationships with others, your home environment, and your work-life balance all impact your ability to manage stress and stay motivated. In this phase, we’ll look at how to create a healthier environment and foster better relationships that support your goals.

Taking Purposeful and Structured Action with Clarity

The Managing phase is about taking purposeful and structured action in your life. It’s not about perfection or being in control all the time—it’s about learning to recognise where you are, what you need, and how to manage yourself with clarity and confidence.

By understanding the Tower Block, shifting through the Gears of Motivation, and balancing the Pillars of Health, you’ll be better equipped to manage both the highs and the lows of life. You’ll have the tools to move forward without feeling overwhelmed, burnt out, or stuck in a cycle of frustration.

Next, we’ll explore the Overcoming phase, where we dive into dealing with the past and clearing the emotional and psychological roadblocks that keep you from moving forward.